SOTL: What sisterhood should feel like

Many women like to pride themselves on being strong, independent women who celebrate and uplift sisterhood. Unfortunately My experience in social settings with some women has not always felt like a “celebration”. I’ve often been met with awkward death stares, felt like I was pulling teeth when trying to engage in conversation with some “sistas” or just felt a negative energy in the room.

Now I realize that we won’t always vibe like best friends when interacting with other women. But we should be able to show respect to each other and let our guard down enough to be approachable and willing to engage in conversations with other sisters.

Being new to the cigar smoking experience, I want to support events being held by those in the cigar world and recently decided to attend a “ladies night” event featuring a saxophonist (favorite instrument) catering to ladies who enjoy cigars, even though it was 2 hours away.

Upon arriving my friend and I were given a warm welcome from the host, who even gave us a shout out for traveling the distance to attend. The ladies mixing the signature drinks were friendly and knowledgeable when I inquired about the differences in the drinks and didn’t get frustrated because I was asking “too many questions”.

Making our way up the stairs to the main area with the music, we were greeted with a smile and a nod as we passed some ladies on the stairwell. The fellas, who are always hospitable and cool, exchanged pleasantries and told us where we could find food if we were hungry. The overall atmosphere was just dope.

Although I didn’t get a chance to talk to any of the ladies one on one, I never felt that I couldn’t. No one suffered from RBF (Google if you don’t know what that is), no one gave us the side eye and made us feel that we didn’t belong there. There was even smiles, laughter, and encouragement from other ladies as I decided to be the only one on the dance floor at one point.

I can’t be 100% certain and say I’ve never had this type of experience before in a social setting with women. But what I can say is because it was so noticeable to both me and my friend, it clearly doesn’t happen often.

Cigars seem to attract a different kind of lady; one of maturity, who is secure with herself and willing to embrace a fellow SOTL. The ladies that night definitely displayed what sisterhood should feel like at it’s bare minimum. Smile at your sister, acknowledge her presence, make her feel welcomed when she’s in your environment.

“Women who understand how powerful they are do not give into envy over meaningless things”~Bindu


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